Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

When you cannot directly make up for something to the person you hurt, a living amends is a decision to change your ongoing behavior in a way that is informed by the wrongdoing. Your ‘living amends’ is living in a way that that acknowledges the previous mistake by consistently living in a way that doesn’t repeat it or compensates for it. Sometimes an indirect or living amends is the best you can do. Of course, if you can make direct amends you should do so; this is why having a sponsor or advisor to help give you direction is so important. If you aren’t able to make direct amends, then you can volunteer your time or help someone else out.

• Please read our success stories below, or contact our team today to talk to some of our experts.
• When a person has died, you can still make amends for your actions.
• My name is Kyle, and I have been a blessed recipient of [a] sober living scholarship program from Living Amends.
• When you make a real effort to change your past behaviors, you need to make the initial move in repairing broken relationships.

What Does Step 9 (Making Amends) Have To Do With Sobriety?

In Twelve Step terminology, another word for “amend” is “fix.” Not the fix we might have chased back in the day, but a fix to a broken relationship. We don’t need to delve into the past and apologize for every birthday party we missed, every fight we picked or the years we were absent— either physically or emotionally. Recovery support groups and individual therapy can help you if you are struggling to make amends or accept the responses of others. A sponsor or therapist can help you talk through your choices, determine the best course of action for making amends, and consider how your actions may affect others as you seek to make amends.

Claim Your Recovery

Resolve to work at making things better between you and keeping your promises. Give each other space to figure out any new roles within your relationship and take things slowly. Don’t expect immediate forgiveness, and also, don’t pressure yourself to fix every broken relationship immediately. If you’re untrustworthy and unreliable, come to terms with those characteristics of yours. Figure out ways to improve upon them, and tell your loved ones what you’re working on to help you improve.

Examples of Making Amends in Recovery

While signing the bill, DeSantis called the concept a “threat” to Florida’s agriculture before making fun of liberal elites who advocate for “fake meat” as a way to combat climate change. DeSantis signed SB 1084 into law at a Wauchula, Florida, press conference. The new law prohibits the manufacture and distribution of lab-grown meat in the Sunshine State. Last spring, while cat-sitting for friends in Astoria, Queens, their route to Manhattan was the Q102 bus to the F train on Roosevelt Island. Although far less lively than Manhattan, the island “had an almost unworldly feeling, because there’s water on both sides,” Ms. Polanyi said.

Understanding AA Step 9

Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process. They may find resolution and understanding about the past. Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive person in your recovery. If you’re on the fence about Step https://ecosoberhouse.com/ 9, remember that making amends can help you and the other person. There are three main types of amends, and it’s important to recognize which one is appropriate in a given situation. Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors.

Step 9: The Best 5 Tips for Living Amends

We are looking for individuals committed to their recovery. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I used to behave. I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep. It ranged from promising to fix something around the house to going to a family gathering. If there are any concerns about content we have published, please reach out to us at

What Makes Me Healthy 2022 Graphic Design Winner – Kelly Zalewski Poster

When my husband misses a turn because he’s in the wrong lane, I say nothing. When he runs out of medicine because he didn’t call the doctor for a refill, I trust he has the intelligence to solve his own problem. When he handles a situation at work “the wrong way” I keep my opinion to myself.

Get the help you or your loved one needs — today.

• However, even if you feel extremely motivated to make direct amends, it is advisable to take your time with this step.
• If someone does not want to hear from us, we respect that and do our best to move forward with our recoveries.
• Practice accepting other’s responses to your efforts and remember that you have done all you can.
• That might not be so tricky if the person were still alive.
• We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal advice.